Changes

Well, I can’t sleep. I’m so excited about the possibility of getting to see Ang tomorrow and so worried about whether or not that will happen. Also, I haven’t really been sleeping well lately. The other day I made Aaron stay up late to help me rake the yard… which was quite the chore. We have five trees in the front yard alone. It was awful. We didn’t even touch the back yard, and I still ended up with two bright red blisters on the inside of each of my thumbs. All that to say, sleep wasn’t an option tonight so I decided to make the best use of my time and finally blog. Woohoo! (Sorry it’s taken me so long.)

 

Ladies, Seattle is almost half a year old, we’ve already had our first ice storm, and Christmas is this month! That’s right, it’s DECEMBER, baby! You know what that means… figuring out how to eat everything in sight and still lose weight, managing how to buy/make 123456789 gifts that people will actually like, and wondering why Christmas songs have lines like “Let’s give thanks to the Lord above because Santa Claus is coming tonight.” Sadly, that is an honest glimpse into what my mind looks like some days.

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My last Dgroup ever. So blessed to have been able to walk beside so many wonderful girls.

In other news, or maybe in not-so-other news, lately I’ve felt a million miles from where I am, stretched in every direction. It is strange to have turned a page in our lives that campus ministry isn’t scribbled across, but I feel ready. Man, I’m itching to be overseas, chompin’ at the bit, but we are walking into unchartered territory… at least to us. Aaron and I are officially full time support raising for our life in foreign missions, and it is definitely new! A pastor friend told us we were “cute” because we obviously didn’t have all the answers and to use that to our advantage. I told him we wouldn’t know how to not use it, advantage or not… we have no IDEA what we are doing! hahaha For real, things feel so different sometimes. It’s easy to feel unstable, and no matter what happens (good, bad, or inbetween) at the end of each day I find myself asking God the same question: Am I your favorite? Then, asking Him if that’s an okay thing to ask, if it’s an okay thing to want. Because if I’m His favorite then no one else can be… at least that’s how I see it. Really, that’s how I want it. I want to be His only favorite. That when He looks at the whole world He only sees me, zooms in on me, smiles at the thought of me. Ha! It’s awful. I don’t know why I feel that way so I just keep asking Him over and over if that’s the way it is… or if I’m just a face in the crowd of so many people that God loves just as much as He loves me.

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We tried to recreate our light photo shoot from last Christmas. So much can happen in a year. A baby changes everything. 🙂

So, the other day I heard a song. It’s called “A Baby Changes Everything.” The truth is that when it first came on I had no idea it was about Jesus. I was listening to a secular station that plays Christmas music, so I just assumed it was a weird, sappy country song. It completely caught me off guard. It made me realize what God did for us by coming to the world the way that He did. Our savior was a baby. He spent nine(ish) months in the womb. He went through all the trauma and gross-ness of childbirth. He was a sticky mess when He first came into the world. He was fragile. He was cold. He cried… probably a lot.  He needed a mommy to take care of him. That same mommy watched him die. Goodness. I’m crying again. This means so much more now that I have baby boy, but it means most that Jesus did that for me. For us. For humanity. How wonderful. I don’t need to be God’s favorite. I need Him to be my favorite. Nothing else matters. Nothing. Merry Christmas, Jesus. Happy Birthday. I don’t care if it’s cliche. I’m just  so, so glad you were born.

Love and miss you all,

Reg

P.S- Here are the lyrics to the song, but look it up and listen to it if you have the time. xoxoxoxox

 

A Baby Changes Everything

Teenage girl, much too young
Unprepared for what’s to come
A baby changes everything

Not a ring
On her hand
All her dreams and all her plans
A baby changes everything 

The man she loves she’s never touched
How will she Keep his trust
A baby changes everything 

And she cries, oh she cries

She has to leave, go far away
Heaven knows she can’t stay
A baby changes everything

She can feel it’s coming soon
There’s no place, there’s no room
A baby changes everything

And she cries and she cries O she cries

Shepherds all… gather ’round
Up above… a star shines down…

Choir of Angels say
Glory to the newborn king
A baby changes everything 
Everything, everything, every day
Hallelujah 

My whole life is turned around
I was lost but now I’m found
A baby changes everything 

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